Week 35: We are NOT going to the beach.

I can think of one summer I have missed family beach week. There might be two, but I can only think of one. I’m being serious. I didn’t even miss beach week the summer I was born. My mom packed herself up along with 6 week old me, and hauled me to Holden, where I proceeded to spend the week in various people’s arms on the front porch, even though there is one picture of a stroller or carseat covered in a sheet or something on the beach that supposedly contained me. We are serious Southern beach goers.I am always shocked when I meet people who did not go to the beach as a kid. It makes me wonder, “What did you do with your family vacation?” You may try to impress me with your trips to the Grand Canyon and Yosemite, but I’ll take the sand between my toes and a giant hat over that any day.

Which is why there was no reason to think that I wasn’t going this year. Just a few short weeks ago, my MD gave me the travel clear and just suggested I stay hydrated. Today, that changed. Disclaimer: Part of this conversation is posted as my status update, so it’s not you, it’s true, I’m reusing my words. I went in for my normal check up, was measured, heartbeat was found, and then the doctor started pushing around, searching for the head. That’s when I admitted my fears that she was not head down, but in fact was still lying transverse. Head can’t be found. Dr. mentions that they’ll let it go until next week, and then we’ll start talking options. I tell her I watched a version on TV this morning, and it looked not so fun, but definitely more fun than a c-section.

Dr.: Well, I think I’m just going to do a quick ultrasound and we’ll figure out how she’s lying. (goes to retrieve machine, boots up)
Me: How’s it looking?
Dr.: Great! She is head down, just pretty low lying.
Me: Yay!! Whoo hoo! Wait, so what have I been feeling the last few days?
Dr.: Her butt.

Pulls me to sitting, and I begin to run down my list of complaints disguised as questions: pain when turning over (normal), ankle swelling (normal), itching (normal), small aliens coming out of my ear and instructing me on how to do basic household tasks (also normal…. hmm… is she listening to me?) finally, last question, just to confirm what I have already planned:

Me: Just one more. I’m fine to travel by myself, yes? Driving and everything?
Doctor: Oh, sure, you’re fine.
Me: Great, because I’m heading to the beach next week and wanted to make sure…
Doctor: What? The beach? I meant traveling locally.
Me: I can’t go to the beach?
Doctor: Did you want to have your baby at the beach?
Me: Well, no, but I was thinking…
Doctor (shaking her head and writing something on my chart- how many times has the word delusional popped up beside these visits?): No way. I’m saying you could get down there and your water could break. You need to stay here.
Me: No beach?
Doctor: Not unless you find that it is an hour or less away.

There were a few more niceties, then I was sent on my way to schedule next week’s appointment.

Receptionist: Hi! Is there a particular day or time that works best for you?
Me: It doesn’t matter. I’ll be here. (sigh)
Receptionist: Okay, great. We have…proceeds to list the days….
Me: I should be at the beach.
Receptionist: What?
Me: Those dates sound peachy!

I think this is the first time the whole pregnancy that I have really felt pouty. Like consistently don’t mess with me I’m in a bad mood pouty about my “delicate condition”. Up until now I’ve been fine because I thought we had plenty of time and I had lots of time to do what I wanted to. Turns out that is not so true. when I got out of the office I called Matt to give him the update. And what was his response? No “Oh, I’m so sad you won’t get to bask in the sweet glow of summertime ocean”, No, “What about visiting your friends at the coast?” Only: “Okay. We need to really start getting things ready. let’s go ahead and start preparing. Should we have a bag packed?” Um, right now the bag i’m thinking of has a hat, sunscreen and a maternity bathing suit. I guess someone in our relationship has to be the responsible one.