He Said He Can’t Keep Up

Direct quote from last weekend’s dinner with my husband. Actually, this is the exact quote “I can’t keep up with you anymore.” Stated while pushing his mostly empty plate away as I reached towards it with my fork, since my plate was empty. I haven’t eaten this much since I trained for my last marathon. Not that this is any different. Except in this case, instead of trying to shave down times, calculating meals, and heading out for 20 milers, I’m literally growing another person. And clearly taking this eating for two thing seriously. This baby does not treat eating lightly. Weight gain during pregnancy should be fairly gradual. Almost nothing in the first trimester (easy, since most of what you eat is coming back up), about a half a pound a week in the second trimester, and then a pound a week in the last trimester, as the baby actually grows enough to run out of room and then be born. In the meantime, we do everything together. I remember one of my friends saying that occasionally what she wanted most during pregnancy was five minutes to herself. At the time I wasn’t sure what this was supposed to mean, but I’m beginning to understand. What I’ve learned thus far…. 1. The baby is currently developing a sleeping schedule. It is very much not on par with mine. We go to bed early, since we have to rise early. This works for several hours, before I awake to what Matt and I lovingly refer to as an “I’m Bored” moment. As in, “Hello? I’m bored. I’m lonely. Why is everything so quiet and still?” accompanied by kicking and rolling around (even though I can’t be sure- I’m still learning to figure out which movements are which). 2. I’m supposed to be getting roughly 8 servings of fruits and veggies a day, 4 calcium, blah blah blah. What does the baby want? Guacamole. Cupcakes. Ice Cream. Cheese and crackers. 3. Growth spurts happen suddenly and without warning. As in, I go to bed one size and wake up and the belly has again moved out slightly more. I’m concerned about how much more this will happen between March and July. 4. You can’t eat ANYTHING without WORRYING about it. I thought I had a pretty good diet going. I eat fruits and veggies with every meal, take my prenatal vitamins even though they are terrible, take calcium supplements even though those are worse than the vitamins and yet I find myself calling my OB at least once a week to confirm that in fact, a food I love I cannot have. This week’s food? Raw Honey. I ate some on toast and then my mom called to say she had heard pregnant women shouldn’t eat it. So I did what any red-blooded American does. I googled it, discovering that either nothing was wrong with it, or I had possibly caused my baby to go blind from some bacteria traveling from the honey. There were tons of posts on messageboards about it, and as the weekend went on, I found myself getting short of breath just thinking about what I had done. How could I have been so irresponsible? Why didn’t I just use the jam on the toast instead? It took everything I had (plus Matt rolling his eyes) not to page the on-call doctor. The important thing is I didn’t. I waited to call until Monday. They said honey was fine, it just needed to be pasteurized. I had no idea honey was pasteurized. Is this common knowledge? In case you’re wondering, there is pasteurized honey. With this amazing being growing inside me, I have also had my eyes opened to a new type of education. An education that involves trying to learn a lot in a small amount of time, learning to forgive myself for things I do wrong in the process, and agreeing with Matt, who told me recently, “If people couldn’t have healthy babies without doing absolutely nothing, the human race would never have survived.” On that note, where are the rest of the cupcakes?