We Live Like the…
I’m currently perusing home improvement books I’ve picked up at the library. They’re gorgeous and for the most part show these beautiful completely unobtainable (at least for me) homes. I sit, in the midst of the chaos that two small people can create in a room, and I dream of how peaceful it could be if…. something. Something were different. Like if I had an extra million dollars burning a hole in my pocket, or if we had a different layout, or if the cats wouldn’t scratch furniture or if the kids lost their desire to use play-doh and markers. There is a lot of if.
This week, however, I grabbed a slightly different book. It’s called How the French Live : Modern French Style (Siham, Mazouz, Gibbs Smith, 2018), and is written by a French woman who loves ecletic interiors and living a balanced life. She “curates” a blog (French by Design) which I am now addicted to, because beyond the amazing traits I listed, she also throws in recipes. She encourages people to live like the French, who apparently use what they have as far as furnishing their homes, and really focus on their families and what they need. I really hope that one day I can connect with her, and if Si, if you ever read this, I am more than happy to head out to San Francisco to have a cafe au lait with you. Seriously.
As I began flipping through the pages, sitting at our own very formal dining room table in our very informal dining room, with my children munching on Cheerios and asking me to show them pictures before declaring the book “bo-ring”, I started to wonder what it is we love about French culture. It’s easy to say “Nutella crepes and baguettes” and call it a day, but I think it’s much more important to consider how French culture values lives.
One of the best parts about having the opportunity to stay home this year, is having room to think. For the first time in twenty years, I’m not working a formal 40 hour a week job. Instead, I’m more or less working a 24/7 job, but it’s the most important job. At dinner with friends the other night, I told them I feel like I have space to think. Not every single day, but many days I’ll have thirty minutes or an hour in which I can take a break, sit with a cup of tea and consider what our whole life looks like. It feels like so much to take on. We spend each day in the grind, and as days fly by we barely notice them until there are markers to the passing- a birthday, Christmas, another summer trip to the beach. But how often do we truly consider how we live? How do we want to live with this singular time we have on a planet that will eventually pass on to other people?
Let’s not get into the philosophical details of my thinking process here- it’s long, and drawn out, and really better done in person where I can gesture and draw diagrams if needed. The point is that part of this experiment is developing a plan to help our home. And, as a librarian, that means lots of research. I.E., reading blogs, trying DIY projects, and looking through gorgeous books and magazines.
Back to this one. In this book, Si visits multiple families who are French and living abroad or in France. My favorite pictures are the ones from the South of France- all those friends who escape the city vibes of Paris for Aix-en-Provence? Yes, please. It also briefly touches on the fact that apparently French kids eat all the things (though I have noticed that she doesn’t specify whether or not they do it joyfully), and everyone enjoys meals outside a lot. I just glanced out our window and it’s a sunny, 34 degree morning.
But what I loved about it was that it wasn’t asking me to purchase things, or better yet just pick up something amazing at the flea market at 6 a.m., sand it down and repaint it in my spare time. It really does feel like you’re simply visiting these people who will invite you for dinner in their minimalist but not cold homes. The other piece of this book that I loved is that recipes are included, so you too can experience a tartiflette in your own haven.
Of course, there are some major differences.
We have a little ways to go. But the most important piece is out there- how do we want to live our lives? How do we create living spaces that reflect our pasts, our presents, and support our futures? While this is not Marie Kondo (though I revisit her amazing book about twice a year), it is about thinking about what makes a home. Namely, designing a space that can support families, and company, and laughter and joy, and tears. This volume does a fantastic job of inspiring the average American person to look deep, think wide, and consider how we live. On that note, I’m off to fold laundry that will likely end up on the floor later this afternoon.
Love this! We (husband and I) got to visit friends in Paris this summer, and they have 3 girls, all 5 in a 2 bedroom apartment in Paris. I was simultaneously impressed that, while they didn’t have as much stuff as we do, there was still a lot of “kid stuff” all over the place AND how they lived happily and not-too-messily in their space. Everything definitely has a function, and they have their important “junk” just like we do. Notable “less” was toys (but the girls’ room still had a lot) and clothes.