The Day My Daughter Became a Mother

     After reading that you are probably wondering how you missed the part where my sweet baby, the one who just celebrated a birthday,  grew up. Fortunately, dear readers, you havent. Shes still a little bit, though she regularly grows in her sleep, surprising me and Matt in the mornings with a little extra height, useful for things like trying to turn the doorknob on her own or reaching for things from the counter when she shouldnt.

            She has always had a ton of baby dolls- some from when I was little, some from shower gifts, some from Christmas and then one from our delightful neighbor, who is seven and the official babysitter.  This is by far the most important object she has ever owned, besides Lambie and Bunny.  She calls her Baby and carries her high on her shoulder, gently patting her back. She has adapted quite well to only using one arm to do many things, such as build with Duplos, eat a snack, or push her various carts/wagons/scooter things.  Often we place baby in the stroller to be taken for a walk, and she gets a bottle as long as SL isnt feeding it to the cats.

            It is pretty common for babies and toddlers to love baby dolls. Who doesnt love them? I played with mine until I was keeping it a secret from people because at a certain age I no longer wanted to admit how comforting it was to rock a baby doll.  Maybe more teenagers should get them. There are a lot of health benefits.  First of all, they are comforting.  Similar to holding a stuffed animal, holding a doll is comforting. Having a bad day? Try cuddling with something. See if you dont feel better. One of the second most important benefits is that it starts children on the path to empathy for humans and other living beings. They learn how to carry them, how to soothe them (even though dolls cant cry, I see my daughter rocking hers on a regular basis), how to feed them, change diapers etc. My husband did not play with dolls growing up, and so for him, the first time he change a diaper was at the hospital after our daughter was born. Hello, Learning Curve.

            As I was watching Sarah Leighton play with Baby I was picking up on what I consider the most important benefit of children playing with dolls. Parenting. I was literally watching my daughter model behavior that she has seen from my husband and me. The same way we carry her, she carries her doll. Her favorite activity to do with her doll? Walking her in the stroller- the same activity we did literally every single day for the first year of her life, and still do now.   Ive seen her sit and rock her, read her books, and play games with her. Ive also seen her sigh and point at something on the floor, babbling. Ive heard her tell our cats No, no no! when they arent cooperating as she plays her games. And its a reminder that everything we do is shaping her.  That she is tucking away our walks, trips to the grocery stores, rolling around on the floor, shaking our heads, pulling her hands away from electrical outlets (WHY does she love them so much?), requiring her to hold our hands going up and down the stairs. She is tucking all of that away. Its a wonderful reminder that we are doing is shaping everything they are doing. That the choices we make in front of our children are the choices we will watch them make.  For me, its meant making an effort not to hop on email one last time in the evening before she goes to bed, and letting her drag me over to the rug to play even if I am in the middle of doing dishes (although the girl loves to throw things into the dishwasher).  Lately she also does the dishes and cooks us dinner in the play kitchen we put in our dining room.   And as soon as she figures out wooden food does not a meal make, we are putting her to work in the real kitchen.  My hope is that what she is doing now sticks, that even as she outgrows publicly playing with babydolls, she will instinctively continue to love, to nurture, and to want to cook her parents dinner, at least every once in a while.